失眠亂説話

0232

起來耗了半小時依然沒一絲睡意

好討厭睡不着的感覺

連續一個禮拜睡不着

不是不想睡 

就是頭腦不能關機

具體說不出我到底還有哪些煩人的事

最近總覺得自己過得有點緊綳

該怎麽辦？

s u m m a t i o n

too long since my last update 😆

have been so unmotivated for the last few weeks. 

it gotta be tat's fault for following him too much.

this gonna be a random post just to sum up the past month how I lived well 

of course with a lot of photos will do 

HAHA lazy me (unmotivated jek 

來回都遇到寒流，迫不及待等達達回來

1. TADAAAA gt to see my loved one 💓

Bae fall sick once he came back...

It just tug at my heartstring like crazy when my guy is sick.  

He's possibly feeling emasculated, so i actually did something to make him feel better.

But why do so many guys have an aversion to actually taking medicine huh? 

Including my bae is reluctant to take medicine that will help him feel better when he is not that sick anymore.

Anw its just popped out my mind to use my home's traditional conservative way to cure him. 

(using cool egg white to wipe and massage on body) 

自己覺得很噁心，

也是最討厭的療法之一，

記得小時候發燒不能好的時候都會被抓去用，

不知道從何開始，

雖然很討厭，

卻默默把這個小撇步記起來了，

經過這次的經驗，

我想我又更瞭解當時媽媽的心理感受， 

就一種手無寸鉄之力，

一心只想要讓你心愛的人趕快好起來吧 

不給力的達

達達煮的晚餐好吃！

malaysia口味的韓式料理

2. 228 holidays

(i) nice BBQ  

打鐵旋轉烤肉

sweet tooth

(ii) meet up with 火車大富翁 buddy

thanks to those power banks for creating a chance to let us meet up!

仙儀aka仙寳，a very nice and pretty girl 

we studied the same course, same batch, diff uni, but we still can talk a lot !!!

見過仙寳之後，

最近看到火車大富翁的一切都覺得心情很沉重

【火車大富翁】

當初是哪股衝動讓我去報名，我不記得了

你有後悔過參加這個活動嗎，從來不

這個活動值這個價錢嗎，非常

因為我更在乎的是你在旅程中的獲得，以及回到生活圈裡的反芻阿。

-這是世華/火車大富翁的名句-

我只記得我當時報名和要去參加前夕的心情變化很大

衝動報名好像只是覺得想要一個可以環島的機會

出發前夕倒是覺得即將面臨很多困難 希望借此活動放鬆心情

第一天、第二天慢慢過去

背包越來越重，脚步反而越來越輕

這一趟旅行給自己跟自己獨處的時間多了

開始面對自己一直逃避的問題

你會豁然發現一切都是浮雲

開始抛開世俗的眼光

做回真正的自己

想笑就笑 想哭就哭 想喝就喝 想爬就爬 

漸漸發現人與人之間的鏈接很特別

我們每一天都在與人接觸

是要怎麽跟人相處呢？

結束之後回到生活圈裡的反芻真的是最重要的

到底旅程結束之後可不可以活得更精彩

思想會有何改變？

有空我該來寫一篇火車大富翁記錄一下了 嘿嘿

看到有個梯子就像爬上去 其實上面什麽都沒有

同是吃貨XDD

約定要一起參加火車大富翁的畢旅

 (iii)stay over at my ultra blur's friend place

Rushing from hsinchu to taipei to taichung

As usual, finally gt to see my random huiyuan

She was too blur !!!!!!

Btw, we talked about our life.

HAHAHA 菜鳥別放棄了！加油！！

我要離開前還特地不把床收拾好

爲了記錄一下我們有見到面

 (iv)meet up with my bae again?

Not, again.

I just wanna stick with bae whole day long.

一下子突然說要去台中

走了之後才來又說不會那麽快回來

真的很emo一下，當下真的有生氣，感覺就像是先斬後奏

好不容易剩下最後的連假 

也不留多點時間給我

不懂是我太緊張還是他太毫無危機感

即將要到大家都忙的時候了

我單純想爭取多一點可以一起相處的日子

你不留，那我去

好像還不錯

😏

Feb-2017 

THE MOST ANXIOUS NIGHT IN 5TH SEM

last paper 

act in different way, different mood, this semester last paper 

no more last paper syndrome

prepare for the paper tomorrow within 12 hours

can i do it?

i was so anxious and nervous

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

DAMN 

無論如何

死死都要過 

拼了這條命！！！！！

TT

好。。我敗給了我自己 

我明天絕對不會敗給了那個爛考卷爛老師  ！！！！！！！！！

exam fever

fighting! 

not saying much. 

first paper down. 

four more to go. 

pass every subject! 

goodluck.

2017.01.05

新年快樂

鉆牛角尖  

不只是慧圓，我自己亦是如此

論跨年那件事來說

我不久前學會看開的心態去了哪兒？！

跟達提起了我的不開心

他一言點醒我

因爲你所在乎的東西對別人來説可能根本就不重要 

我想這就是我這一輩子要不斷揣摩的一個問題 

心態，比起什麽都重要 

就算不想付出很多很多

但只要有一絲絲的念頭和責任感存在

身邊的人都會感受得到 

還有一個學期

我也只能付出更多 

無論過程多苦

最後收穫最大的也是自己 

2017.01.02  

新年快樂 

終

2016最後一天該怎麽過怎麽慶祝？
打從一開始我一心已經預留給清馬了，誰叫我是該死的會長！對 該死的！
自從達提議過我們倆自己過，我也開始想盡辦法推掉清馬，但又礙于前一次的聖誕節我無法出席。。讓我覺得這個責任我逃脫不了了，無論如何，跨年就是要留給清馬了。

從一開始訂場地、訂餐、統計、安排節目，直到今天開始前我都覺得很順利！
結果，一進去控音室，發現一支麥克風沒電池，副會長沒有準備好電影，垃圾袋、冰塊。。。。。。一堆雜事交代過的都沒有做！！
在達花時間弄電影的那段時間，整個場面早就冷到不行了
後來，看了電影，我覺得好看，但大部分都沒有興趣，幸好大家之後都各自在聊天，場面好不容易緩和了下來
突然，有學弟問我說可不可以把電影砍掉
我其實真的很不爽
雖然還是答應了
好！他們已經説得好像準備到很好！很high！結果一出場整個場面更冷，越來越多人不告而別。。。。。
不要說大家感覺如何，身爲一個會長從頭到尾被雷然後看著大家離開，我心情真的很複雜，雖然我一直安慰自己說我并不care他們想怎樣。
到最后場複也是達在幫忙，達真的幫了我太多

我突然有感而發。。。。。。
我一直質疑自己到底接了這個職位意義何在？
看著一個什麽都沒做的前會長，就是很會喇塞，什麽鬼第一個就是問他，變得跟新生很好，聖誕節還有禮物收，還特地在今天回禮給每一個新生，説真的，這種動作我辦不到
我不是嫉妒
也不是難過
其實是心疼
看著一個個親手接來的新生，就像自己的孩子一樣
那種感覺就像親手把孩子送個別人一樣
真的痛
很痛
記得今天有跟達說到一句：能用錢買到的，我爲什麽要這樣折磨自己，做那麽多又沒人會說你的好
我是發自内心説出的一句話
我一直都瞭解，也知道這句話的意義
可是，是第一次感觸如此深
就以今天的氣氛來説，爲什麽氣氛很down，我真的可以就把氣氛帶起來。。。
but，我不想。
我的價值在哪？
我做那麽多到底是爲了什麽？
爲了你們還是我自己？
我大可以背負著不負責任的名義，把一切事情丟下不管，下學期什麽都不辦，把所有事情丟給幹部們，去做自己想做的很多事，更有意義的事。
我是你們的會長，我不是你們的工人、娛樂工具
接下這個職位，一開始就預期是累的，前提是你累得開心嗎？
我現在真的很累很累很累很累很累很累很累

我現在只想2017什麽都只跟我覺得跟我合拍的人一起做事、過每一個節日
對不起
我今天又沒有做到答應過達的事😫

累
晚安
2017/1/1

what makes you happy?

Did you fall in love? What was it like?

Yes, but mine was a bit different.

Unfortunately, she passed away. She died. That was a sad thing. She got sick. 

I'm gonna cry. 

No no no, don't. 

We have very good memories. And you live a lot of time, you live in your head with those memories. You can remember all the good things. And that's the important thing.

Half way watching a video which a boy and a man talk about life in this emotionless night. 

I felt the old man's word.. 

For this past Christmas, i should be really enjoyed myself.

But, turned out I felt hectic about my life.  

I'd rather believed that this is all about pms :(

  However, it's not. 

reports, exams, homework, plannings, parties.............. 

ugh..

I even break up in tears in class just because of bf saying some lil stuff

Silly me, i know.  

You don't to be rich to be happy.

Do the thing you like to make you feel good.

Because when you happy yourself, everybody else is happy. 

I decided make a throwback to this 2016 Christmas with my loved one.

Tbh, I was not too excited about Xmas this year. 

This is not the usual Jiun though,

Btw, bf did really surprised me in a bit. 

Somehow, I felt i was selfish for not being happy.

I was just too tired.....sob

But i was appreciating every little stuff he did for me, for real.

I always remembered he told me the one thing he like the most is my smile and to be happy!

This is also the simplest thing i could give him.

I tried to be happy. 

That's why I am here.

went for scholarship's ceremony

never attended this kind of ceremony since primary sch?haha

💓💓💓

i dont like cream and toffee. but i ordered it.

afterhours cafe

a bit overrated caramel sponge cake

after la la land. saya juga kisiao

silly jiun

silly bf

a normal one. hah!

😍

純屬無聊照

ended up with 老四川麻辣鍋

Bf went for some official meeting in Tpe today.
Our ori plan to go to Taichung to meet his friends was gone.
I was super duper extremely sad and emo.
When he should be arrived at sch that time when i told him i was hungry
He ask me to buy myself some food after class
i expected he will want to have dinner with me before he leave. damn.
I was actually very emo.
Class dismiss, I walked out from class and thinking whether go back to sleep or take dinner at 4pm straight.
And what i saw !!!!!!!!!
Bf was sitting outside with a box of food!!!!!!!!
😦😃😭😭
 really out of my expectation this time!!
Let me thought of my parents' feeling when i surprised them!
真的是傻掉
不知道該如何反應哈哈哈哈

Okay.
Hopefully i can wake up for class tomorrow!
And, more energetic tomorrow!
Brace myself with all these good things and memories.