終

2016最後一天該怎麽過怎麽慶祝？
打從一開始我一心已經預留給清馬了，誰叫我是該死的會長！對 該死的！
自從達提議過我們倆自己過，我也開始想盡辦法推掉清馬，但又礙于前一次的聖誕節我無法出席。。讓我覺得這個責任我逃脫不了了，無論如何，跨年就是要留給清馬了。

從一開始訂場地、訂餐、統計、安排節目，直到今天開始前我都覺得很順利！
結果，一進去控音室，發現一支麥克風沒電池，副會長沒有準備好電影，垃圾袋、冰塊。。。。。。一堆雜事交代過的都沒有做！！
在達花時間弄電影的那段時間，整個場面早就冷到不行了
後來，看了電影，我覺得好看，但大部分都沒有興趣，幸好大家之後都各自在聊天，場面好不容易緩和了下來
突然，有學弟問我說可不可以把電影砍掉
我其實真的很不爽
雖然還是答應了
好！他們已經説得好像準備到很好！很high！結果一出場整個場面更冷，越來越多人不告而別。。。。。
不要說大家感覺如何，身爲一個會長從頭到尾被雷然後看著大家離開，我心情真的很複雜，雖然我一直安慰自己說我并不care他們想怎樣。
到最后場複也是達在幫忙，達真的幫了我太多

我突然有感而發。。。。。。
我一直質疑自己到底接了這個職位意義何在？
看著一個什麽都沒做的前會長，就是很會喇塞，什麽鬼第一個就是問他，變得跟新生很好，聖誕節還有禮物收，還特地在今天回禮給每一個新生，説真的，這種動作我辦不到
我不是嫉妒
也不是難過
其實是心疼
看著一個個親手接來的新生，就像自己的孩子一樣
那種感覺就像親手把孩子送個別人一樣
真的痛
很痛
記得今天有跟達說到一句：能用錢買到的，我爲什麽要這樣折磨自己，做那麽多又沒人會說你的好
我是發自内心説出的一句話
我一直都瞭解，也知道這句話的意義
可是，是第一次感觸如此深
就以今天的氣氛來説，爲什麽氣氛很down，我真的可以就把氣氛帶起來。。。
but，我不想。
我的價值在哪？
我做那麽多到底是爲了什麽？
爲了你們還是我自己？
我大可以背負著不負責任的名義，把一切事情丟下不管，下學期什麽都不辦，把所有事情丟給幹部們，去做自己想做的很多事，更有意義的事。
我是你們的會長，我不是你們的工人、娛樂工具
接下這個職位，一開始就預期是累的，前提是你累得開心嗎？
我現在真的很累很累很累很累很累很累很累

我現在只想2017什麽都只跟我覺得跟我合拍的人一起做事、過每一個節日
對不起
我今天又沒有做到答應過達的事😫

累
晚安
2017/1/1

what makes you happy?

Did you fall in love? What was it like?

Yes, but mine was a bit different.

Unfortunately, she passed away. She died. That was a sad thing. She got sick. 

I'm gonna cry. 

No no no, don't. 

We have very good memories. And you live a lot of time, you live in your head with those memories. You can remember all the good things. And that's the important thing.

Half way watching a video which a boy and a man talk about life in this emotionless night. 

I felt the old man's word.. 

For this past Christmas, i should be really enjoyed myself.

But, turned out I felt hectic about my life.  

I'd rather believed that this is all about pms :(

  However, it's not. 

reports, exams, homework, plannings, parties.............. 

ugh..

I even break up in tears in class just because of bf saying some lil stuff

Silly me, i know.  

You don't to be rich to be happy.

Do the thing you like to make you feel good.

Because when you happy yourself, everybody else is happy. 

I decided make a throwback to this 2016 Christmas with my loved one.

Tbh, I was not too excited about Xmas this year. 

This is not the usual Jiun though,

Btw, bf did really surprised me in a bit. 

Somehow, I felt i was selfish for not being happy.

I was just too tired.....sob

But i was appreciating every little stuff he did for me, for real.

I always remembered he told me the one thing he like the most is my smile and to be happy!

This is also the simplest thing i could give him.

I tried to be happy. 

That's why I am here.

went for scholarship's ceremony

never attended this kind of ceremony since primary sch?haha

💓💓💓

i dont like cream and toffee. but i ordered it.

afterhours cafe

a bit overrated caramel sponge cake

after la la land. saya juga kisiao

silly jiun

silly bf

a normal one. hah!

😍

純屬無聊照

ended up with 老四川麻辣鍋

Bf went for some official meeting in Tpe today.
Our ori plan to go to Taichung to meet his friends was gone.
I was super duper extremely sad and emo.
When he should be arrived at sch that time when i told him i was hungry
He ask me to buy myself some food after class
i expected he will want to have dinner with me before he leave. damn.
I was actually very emo.
Class dismiss, I walked out from class and thinking whether go back to sleep or take dinner at 4pm straight.
And what i saw !!!!!!!!!
Bf was sitting outside with a box of food!!!!!!!!
😦😃😭😭
 really out of my expectation this time!!
Let me thought of my parents' feeling when i surprised them!
真的是傻掉
不知道該如何反應哈哈哈哈

Okay.
Hopefully i can wake up for class tomorrow!
And, more energetic tomorrow!
Brace myself with all these good things and memories.